Couples around

Couples around

With hope and faith they surround

Some with patience

Some with vengeance

Expressions many

The name they keep searching for

Happily ever after is the note prescribed

For which a cure is undefined

Bonds aren’t like the sweet syrup you take

Taking in too much could leave you hyper glycemic

Making you restless and craving for more

Throwing you down and making you greedy

Sprinkle in some salt and do it spicy

Savour the curry and eat all your dessert

Fight now and then and add in some flirt 

A lesson to let the person BE!

"I believe some one

To the extent that I am compulsive

Which makes the wound only get deeper,

So the compulsion may turn into fear.

Sometimes you make me feel better

Like the spell of an evil vampire

Is there a way I can undo the scar?

Maybe by an amnesic charm

Erasing all the past

And the mountain of underlying aghast"

These were the words written by Aicha in her diary on that eve of valentine ’s day, 2010, when she was left heart broken by Rohit. She had loved Rohit ever since she was in her high school, secretly dropping in notes, leaving him chocolates, staring at him like a thief so she won’t get caught. Rohit always knew something was on, but he never dared to bring this up. Those were the days of high school, full of fun, full of excitement. Aicha was so scared to take it to him that she never did, until she graduated. Wow, that was after 8 long years. That night at their college party, she gathered all her courage and expressed her love to Rohit.

What happened in days to come was nothing but a dream come true for Aicha. Rohit expressed his love back for her on the very same day and they dated for the next 2 years. Initially Aicha felt as though she was living in a fantasy and couldn't believe that Rohit was in fact her boy friend. Her affection was intolerably high for Rohit and he did feel the same for her. Life was just so beautiful, until Rohit was offered a job in a top notch company with a huge pay, which meant lesser time for meetings and coffees and lesser time for chat. Aicha was having a tough time coping with the fact that Rohit was not spending enough time with her and her feeling of affection and admiration were being replaced by insecurity and fear. She could not do what every person needs to do in a relationship- mature and adjust. Days went by, leaving her sore and hurt, despite the fact that Rohit loved her truly and was doing everything to keep the relationship alive. He had also arranged for sessions with a counselor but Aicha was so hurt by this gesture that she told Rohit she was not mentally ill to visit a shrink and suggested he needed one.

That valentine’s day Rohit had taken the hard decision of keeping away from Aicha until she understands the true meaning of a relation, which left her almost lifeless. Relationship is like a beautiful garland of flowers, the delicate the better, the harder you tug, the scattered it becomes. 

Only months later of being away and being alone, Aicha started to realize the things that led to the break up. They seemed like most silly ones. Wanting to be more in charge of her life, she chose to apply for jobs and also chose to pursue her unfulfilled passion of dancing. She attended therapy sessions not because she was ill, but to a leader of her own life. 

Rohit and Aicha have drifted apart in their own ways but Aicha learnt a lesson about relationships, a lesson never to forget, a lesson to let the person be, and a lesson to be the person she is. She was ready for a new beginning, only to rise in relationship and not to fall again. These were the words she wrote in her diary on the eve of Valentine’s Day, 2011

"I fell on the floor

With my feelings tore

Pain taught me to move

With a reason never to forget

I see myself with love

And a past never to regret"

Romance, not really!

Been to a number of weddings lately

Childhood friends, buddies and cousins

Each with a story so unique

Surprises, vows and knots

It feels right if it has to

Else consequences we may have to face to

Either way it has to be crawled to

Romance is of course over rated

We girls are forever in it gated

It forms the canvas, it forms the plot

It forms the design in our beautiful heads

Is it arts which taught us so

Is it the movies which portray so

Or is it the societal web which always demands more

The answer is never arriving

Like the chicken and the egg riddle so confusing

It is a fantasy far real

blindly accepted as ideal

Craving for every bit of it

No one knows the why and how

Anthropologists are forever in plough

Who wants to argue the right or wrong

I wonder if men also hum the same song

Hate philosophy

Going in a fabia, over a flyover, looking out, I saw the reflection of my red car in a glass paneled building. That was when I was in the deepest level of thoughts. Very disoriented and spaced out from reality, I was wondering for no real reason what is hatred.

I realize that a car and a stranger to steer is the perfect formula for my philosophical inner self to break dance.

Coming back to hatred, I started to think of things I hate, which I wouldn't wanna mention of obvious reasons (No, you are not in the list). 

But every single thing kept me spiraling down to its basis. It was either fixation, negativity or horn effect(assuming a second situation will be bad because the first one was) and so forth.

Expectations also seem to turn to hatred when they are unfulfilled (wanting to kill the person you like because he/she didn't respond). Reminds of incidents seen in news?

 Hating someone because he/she reminds of someone you hate and assuming this person will carry the same characteristic. Wow how illogical can we get. When we actually sit and think of things we hate, the reality presents itself in a funny way that most of these are senseless, baseless and really not worth that treatment.

If most of us are striving for a peaceful and happy life which I assume most of us want, unless you are some creep who yearns for a sad life, then it is important to stop our crazy mind right where it begins to bottle up. The cure for hatred could be early diagnosis and right treatment. You should start to stitch in the right time, just to save nine or may be nine hundred later.

Addiction without a substance.

Twelve in the night

I reach for my phone

Searching subconsciously for a message

Hoping for a missed call

 Tossing on the bed

Sleepy and sleepless

Feeling like a wildly spirited soul

Creeping through my veins

Messing with my brain

High but not to let go

Always seeking for a fair amount of share

An obsession needing to be there

I call it an addiction without a substance

Constantly requiring doses for my existence 

I am tossing on my bed

So sleepy, yet sleepless

I feel like a wildly spirited soul 

You already creep in my veins but I want a lot more

I am high, but never to let go

Intolerable, still Iseek for a fair amount of share

You are an obsession always needing to be there

A year older?

Excitement of counting days

Awaiting a new dress

Selecting the cake

Calling friends

Playing games

Eating chips

The schema of birthday

Simple and materialistic

laughter and fun

Years add on, making us smaller

Baking the cake of complex relations

Icing with a colorful facade

Work boils at a high temperature

Future sitting in the freezer

Love rots in the trash

Philosophies ruined the materialism

Being simple was good

Being materialistic was better

Being selfish was the best

A year older?

A year wiser?

Well,

Years add on, making us smaller

Life after death with GARIBRATH..!!

I never understood the ranting blogs recently written by people and also wondered why they go to the extent of ranting, until I began writing this. I will write this in the most organized way I can so it can be understood as clearly as possible. Also, I write poems, not stories, but this incident got me so angry that I just wanted to write!

To,

All the railway ministers/officials in India who were present when or after Garibrath express(A complete AC train) was begun.

Also, to all those garib passengers who suffered.. We are the bravest.

From 2009 to 2011 is the time I spent in Bangalore to do my masters and I had worst experiences in trains, but Garibrath the the queen of worst experiences. Here's why

• The cheap read affordable rates will lure you into buying the tickets in an AC train, which is a luxury for middle class Indian sector.
• You get in and realize that the train is full of people, especially the corporate crowd who often travel to and fro home city to work city, who are very literate but will not bother to complain ever. Agree I am one of them.
• Usually the "bedding"(as it is termed in trains/blankets) is given free of cost in other trains with AC bogies, since it is covered in your ticket charge, but here, as soon as the train starts, you will have to dig in Rs 25 and run to the store place (next to the loo)
• It is usually a very unorganized queue, dying to get the "bedding" and the small area near the loo and the aisle near the loo is filled with fighting passengers to get them first.
• Bedding- consists of 1 blanket(a stinky poky one), 2 white bed covers (usually brown), 1 pillow(with a just now put muddy cover), 1 napkin(which is not given these days).
• Next to every berth is sticker put with writing on it saying "do not accept bedding if not in a sealed cover". But the fact is that the "bedding" is dirty despite being the sealed cover. Brown and cream stains, hair, tea stains and what not.
• See this picture to know how well they maintain them.

• Talking about the berths, there are usually 6berths and 2 side berths. But this train has 3 side berths with an extra middle berth, which when opened makes it really hard for a normal person to sleep. It must be 2 feet in length.
• Also Garibrath has berth width which is smaller than any other AC train.
• So, if you are especially picked by the train ticketing authorities to sleep on the side middle or lower birth, you will have a special privilege to experience an after death experience. It will show you how life may feel in a coffin. Added, if your 'lower side' berth is right in the beginning where the door opens, you can experience 2 things. 1) The door slamming on the wooden board next to your face(attached to safeguard your face whenever someone enters) 2) The better feeling of a coffin than the other 'side berths' would provide(since its not only closed on the top, but also towards the side with a wooden board). So, even a non claustrophobic can start feeling claustrophobic.
• Another thing about lower side berth is that when the two seats close to form a bed, there is real level difference between the two, making it so impossible to sleep(It is a lot worse than sleeping on the crack of two beds). Say good bye to your perfect back.
• Restrooms are a topic which makes me want to kill every government official in-charge for. Sanitation is an issue all over the country, and for women, there are no public restrooms at all to even talk about. They may be not expected to be neat and clean as a general Indian public restroom rule, but even when you just get into the train when no one is there, they will still stink and put your olfactory cells to real pain. So ladies who are even averagely concerned about clean toilets or those of you who are at that time of the month, get ready for a real cramping intestinal torture.
• Another site, not so amusing even for an animal lover are the cockroaches which move not only on the floor, but also on the walls, ceilings and also happily on your not so 'white bedding'. Little kids may also be quite amused to look at the rats which play "Stamp me if you can" with the moving passengers in the aisle.
• All this often brings to my head that 'Garib'rath aptly stands to its title.

As I end this letter, I would like to know if these are the things which seem so trivial that no one bothers to rant about or even try to complain. Things seemed the same with trains since I was a kid. Talking of privatization is next to impossible to maintain the number of passengers travelling but can't the housekeeping and maintenance be privatized?

Being an ordinary middle class passenger who opts to choose an AC coach, does this seem acceptable and ordinary? Or is it too little to think about when compared to the bigger issues we face?

I am writing this to the railway officials and ministers concerned, but am quite sure that this wouldn't go anywhere because we are one such literate race who are quite indifferent to many such issues. But railways is such major sector of Indian government that this situation is quite shameful.

Thanking you,

A troubled 'garib'rath passenger.