Hate philosophy

Going in a fabia, over a flyover, looking out, I saw the reflection of my red car in a glass paneled building. That was when I was in the deepest level of thoughts. Very disoriented and spaced out from reality, I was wondering for no real reason what is hatred.

I realize that a car and a stranger to steer is the perfect formula for my philosophical inner self to break dance.

Coming back to hatred, I started to think of things I hate, which I wouldn't wanna mention of obvious reasons (No, you are not in the list). 

But every single thing kept me spiraling down to its basis. It was either fixation, negativity or horn effect(assuming a second situation will be bad because the first one was) and so forth.

Expectations also seem to turn to hatred when they are unfulfilled (wanting to kill the person you like because he/she didn't respond). Reminds of incidents seen in news?

 Hating someone because he/she reminds of someone you hate and assuming this person will carry the same characteristic. Wow how illogical can we get. When we actually sit and think of things we hate, the reality presents itself in a funny way that most of these are senseless, baseless and really not worth that treatment.

If most of us are striving for a peaceful and happy life which I assume most of us want, unless you are some creep who yearns for a sad life, then it is important to stop our crazy mind right where it begins to bottle up. The cure for hatred could be early diagnosis and right treatment. You should start to stitch in the right time, just to save nine or may be nine hundred later.

Addiction without a substance.

Twelve in the night

I reach for my phone

Searching subconsciously for a message

Hoping for a missed call

 Tossing on the bed

Sleepy and sleepless

Feeling like a wildly spirited soul

Creeping through my veins

Messing with my brain

High but not to let go

Always seeking for a fair amount of share

An obsession needing to be there

I call it an addiction without a substance

Constantly requiring doses for my existence 

I am tossing on my bed

So sleepy, yet sleepless

I feel like a wildly spirited soul 

You already creep in my veins but I want a lot more

I am high, but never to let go

Intolerable, still Iseek for a fair amount of share

You are an obsession always needing to be there

A year older?

Excitement of counting days

Awaiting a new dress

Selecting the cake

Calling friends

Playing games

Eating chips

The schema of birthday

Simple and materialistic

laughter and fun

Years add on, making us smaller

Baking the cake of complex relations

Icing with a colorful facade

Work boils at a high temperature

Future sitting in the freezer

Love rots in the trash

Philosophies ruined the materialism

Being simple was good

Being materialistic was better

Being selfish was the best

A year older?

A year wiser?

Well,

Years add on, making us smaller

Life after death with GARIBRATH..!!

I never understood the ranting blogs recently written by people and also wondered why they go to the extent of ranting, until I began writing this. I will write this in the most organized way I can so it can be understood as clearly as possible. Also, I write poems, not stories, but this incident got me so angry that I just wanted to write!

To,

All the railway ministers/officials in India who were present when or after Garibrath express(A complete AC train) was begun.

Also, to all those garib passengers who suffered.. We are the bravest.

From 2009 to 2011 is the time I spent in Bangalore to do my masters and I had worst experiences in trains, but Garibrath the the queen of worst experiences. Here's why

• The cheap read affordable rates will lure you into buying the tickets in an AC train, which is a luxury for middle class Indian sector.
• You get in and realize that the train is full of people, especially the corporate crowd who often travel to and fro home city to work city, who are very literate but will not bother to complain ever. Agree I am one of them.
• Usually the "bedding"(as it is termed in trains/blankets) is given free of cost in other trains with AC bogies, since it is covered in your ticket charge, but here, as soon as the train starts, you will have to dig in Rs 25 and run to the store place (next to the loo)
• It is usually a very unorganized queue, dying to get the "bedding" and the small area near the loo and the aisle near the loo is filled with fighting passengers to get them first.
• Bedding- consists of 1 blanket(a stinky poky one), 2 white bed covers (usually brown), 1 pillow(with a just now put muddy cover), 1 napkin(which is not given these days).
• Next to every berth is sticker put with writing on it saying "do not accept bedding if not in a sealed cover". But the fact is that the "bedding" is dirty despite being the sealed cover. Brown and cream stains, hair, tea stains and what not.
• See this picture to know how well they maintain them.

• Talking about the berths, there are usually 6berths and 2 side berths. But this train has 3 side berths with an extra middle berth, which when opened makes it really hard for a normal person to sleep. It must be 2 feet in length.
• Also Garibrath has berth width which is smaller than any other AC train.
• So, if you are especially picked by the train ticketing authorities to sleep on the side middle or lower birth, you will have a special privilege to experience an after death experience. It will show you how life may feel in a coffin. Added, if your 'lower side' berth is right in the beginning where the door opens, you can experience 2 things. 1) The door slamming on the wooden board next to your face(attached to safeguard your face whenever someone enters) 2) The better feeling of a coffin than the other 'side berths' would provide(since its not only closed on the top, but also towards the side with a wooden board). So, even a non claustrophobic can start feeling claustrophobic.
• Another thing about lower side berth is that when the two seats close to form a bed, there is real level difference between the two, making it so impossible to sleep(It is a lot worse than sleeping on the crack of two beds). Say good bye to your perfect back.
• Restrooms are a topic which makes me want to kill every government official in-charge for. Sanitation is an issue all over the country, and for women, there are no public restrooms at all to even talk about. They may be not expected to be neat and clean as a general Indian public restroom rule, but even when you just get into the train when no one is there, they will still stink and put your olfactory cells to real pain. So ladies who are even averagely concerned about clean toilets or those of you who are at that time of the month, get ready for a real cramping intestinal torture.
• Another site, not so amusing even for an animal lover are the cockroaches which move not only on the floor, but also on the walls, ceilings and also happily on your not so 'white bedding'. Little kids may also be quite amused to look at the rats which play "Stamp me if you can" with the moving passengers in the aisle.
• All this often brings to my head that 'Garib'rath aptly stands to its title.

As I end this letter, I would like to know if these are the things which seem so trivial that no one bothers to rant about or even try to complain. Things seemed the same with trains since I was a kid. Talking of privatization is next to impossible to maintain the number of passengers travelling but can't the housekeeping and maintenance be privatized?

Being an ordinary middle class passenger who opts to choose an AC coach, does this seem acceptable and ordinary? Or is it too little to think about when compared to the bigger issues we face?

I am writing this to the railway officials and ministers concerned, but am quite sure that this wouldn't go anywhere because we are one such literate race who are quite indifferent to many such issues. But railways is such major sector of Indian government that this situation is quite shameful.

Thanking you,

A troubled 'garib'rath passenger.

What I don't desire

December is just around the corner

Excitement is building up

No, am not getting engaged

You may figure it out yourselves

Am a very philosophical person

Materials don't mean a thing to me

These are the things I don't desire

ipads, ipods and iphones

Beetles, Aldos and the Bose

Rochers and peanut MnMs don't make me happy

Without a Bvlgari my day isn't crappy

You needn't get me a cheese cake

Just to prove me that your love isn't fake

Be affectionate to me

Express your feelings and let me be

The things I don't desire are the things I don't desire

But when you give it with your love,

They fill me with endless fire

So get me the ipads, ipods and iphones

Buy me Beetles, Aldos and the Bose

Rochers and peanut MnMs do make me happy

Without a Bvlgari my day is of course crappy

So get me the cheese cake, in all the flavors they make

All this only with your feelings and not when it's fake

Even when your feelings are true

Miss the flowers and Avoid the teddy

Banish the pre-written multi colored card

So I may see you with my eyes full of regard

Humans

Evolution,

To a species more senseless

Need,

To a generation minus feelings

Wisdom,

To schools with education

Friendships,

To people so mistrusted

Money

To a race with riches

Relations,

To beings so complicated

Love,

To a community so carnal

Humans,

To a meaning so illusory...

The grip

Water, Will you stay in my palm?

Sand, Can I hold you forever?

Today I lie on my bed clenching my fist

hoping the grip wouldn't loosen ever

I wonder if there is a way to reach you

as the rain falls out the window

covering my vision with pure mist

I've been telling the universe,

to send the messages to you

All the ones I whispered,

because the friendship we had blew

I pretend static when the beat inside goes rush

Trying to be calm when I am building up a storm

I may lose my respect,

But I am ready to lose it for you

I've dropped the fear, Will you?

I will keep the faith, Will you?

I doubt you may,

I still say may, so my hope will not rot

Water, do stay in my palm

Sand, let me hold you forever....